Any gamer who has ever played an online game has been there. You start up a group to learn something new, try out a raid, take down a competing team… and 2 hours later, you’re beating your head against your keyboard while yelling obscenities at people who probably can’t hear you because let’s face it: this group just sucks.
Not everyone can be as talented and skilled as you are at your favorite video game, and while it’s easy to grow impatient with other players who aren’t as experienced as you are, there are far more clever ways to tell people they suck than by getting angry and dropping F-bombs here and there.
So next time you find yourself in the wrong group and want to escape, throw out one of these ridiculous but funny excuses before you rage quit. Being subtly snarky will make you feel better, I promise.
“Sorry guys gotta go…”
- My goldfish is drowning.
- The dog is eating my homework.
- My cat is on fire.
- My pizza is burning!
- The ice cream truck is here.
- I forgot to water my plants.
- I have to return my computer.
- I’m 10 minutes late for my date!
- I just lost a bet.
- I left the fridge open.
- My house is on fire.
- I need to check into a rest home.
“I’d really love to stay, but…”
- My internet is down.
- I gotta do my taxes.
- It’s raining and I can’t swim.
- My doctor advised me to cut back on salt.
- My body isn’t ready for this.
- I locked myself in the car and I’m stuck.
- I’m out of Mountain Dew!
- A friend of mine is being reincarnated and I have to go to the zoo.
- I gotta clean out my car.
- I need to walk my goldfish.
- I gotta watch the paint dry.
“I hate to leave, but…”
- The princess is in another castle.
- My family is here for my intervention.
- The FBI is watching again.
- I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.
- I’m not getting any younger.
- My kids are drowning the goldfish.
- I’m getting my nails done.
- My water just broke.
- I have to deliver a pizza.
- My swimming pool is on fire.
- I have to pick up my disco suit from the dry cleaners.
“I hate to be that guy, but I gotta go ’cause…”
- The snowman is on fire.
- I’m being held hostage.
- My _____ is stuck under the bed.
- The ambulance just got here.
- My goldfish needs a bath.
- It’s past my bedtime.
- The water for my tea is probably burned by now.
- I’m late for my wedding.
- My drunk grandpa is hitting on my girlfriend. Again.
- IT’S SEXY TIME!!!
- My grandma is dying and I want to see the endgame before she does.
And if that doesn’t suffice, there is always the following:
Do you have a go-to excuse for leaving a bad group?
I would like to thank members of my free company, and the lovely people in these three posts for some of these funny excuses. If you have an excuse you use to drop out of bad groups that aren’t seen here, help your fellow gamers out and post it in the comments below!